The following is an account of the blessings of dynamic meditation experienced during a Chiseong in Seoul, Dongducheon Dojang on July 22, 2015. As Told By Jun-young Kim (29/M)
(Translated by Sanggyu Lee, Maila Flurey and Stuart Smallwood)

Hello everyone. My name is Kim, Jun-Young and I am currently practicing Jeung San Do in Incheon Juan Dojang with a Dao title, Gyomu-jonggam.

Today, I want to share my story of how I met Sangjenim’s truth and healed my disease which was rooted in my mind and body, and transformed myself through the blessings of sacred words and Taeeulju Mantra dynamic meditation. I hope my story can help many other practitioners.

I was initiated into Jeungsando on June 5, 2009 when I was 23 years old. But before that, I went through several life changing events.

The first came when I was 17, around 12 years ago. At the end of my first year in high school, the abdominal pains suddenly started and my life completely changed. The pain was so severe that I was hospitalized for several medical checkups, but the doctor could not figure out the problem. For the next six months, I went through further tests in five different hospitals, eventually they discovered that I had Crohn’s disease. My health deteriorated because I didn’t receive proper medical treatment for 6 months.

Crohn’s disease is a rare illness which affects 25,000 people in South Korea. It is also known as inflammatory bowel disease, which causes inflammatory reactions in all area of the intestine, from the throat to colon, down to the anus. Our immune system usually protects our body but in this case it actually attacks our body because of the autoimmune disorder by producing antibodies against our own body tissues.

The symptom are serious abdominal pain, diarrhea, weight loss, fatigue, lethargy and other complications caused by intestinal stricture and abscess around the anus.

In worse cases, surgery is required to cut out parts of the intestines so it is a kind of disease that badly affects our quality of life. There is no perfect cure for this disease at present, so patients should take medicine throughout their whole life.

My case showed severe inflammatory reactions in the large and small intestines. Seen through the endoscope, my intestines partly looked like some yellowish pus, which you see when the infection festers in the mouth. Such an inflammatory reaction was visible with tens or hundreds of abscess covering up my large and small intestines.

So whenever I had a meal it caused abdominal pain and I felt like tasting the punishment of hell. The pain was too severe. Since I experienced this every day, each day was too painful to me. My weight before was 65kg but I lost up to 47kg in less than a month because of the disease.

In addition, I developed a complication which caused multiple abscesses in some parts of my anus and that caused pains around my anus, and my body was so weak out because of diarrhea. When I went outside for one to two hours, I had to rest for a day to recover from the fatigue. Even then, I could not get a restful sleep because of the pain.

Besides, I took a handful of tablets which were prescribed as immunosuppressant, anti-inflammatory, antibiotic, steroid and digestive agents, etc. and the doctor gave me a painkiller which was written as a narcotic drug. I thought to myself that I must have committed a grievous crime in my previous life because of the severe pain.

My mother often looked at my figure, which made it look like I was dying because I was all skin and bones, and cried loudly while hugging me. I cannot forget the look in her eyes. When I looked at her, I felt her sadness and my heart broke.

While living my life in pain, I got the first momentum to connect with Sangjenim’s truth. It happened when I was 18 years old. My father gave me a book which title was “This is Gaebyeok”. But at that time, I found it hard to understand. When I scanned through it, it seemed to talk about predictions, but the future did not matter to me because I was in a state of dying at that moment. So I didn’t much pay attention to the contents and I just put it in a bookcase.

After a while, an aunt visited my house, she saw the book and said “this is a strange book so, do not read it.” She attended a protestant church. Anyways, I didn’t like to listen to such talk and for some reason, I just kept it in the wardrobe inside a room. So, the first karmic chance to meet Sangjenim’s truth wasn’t actualized.

After that, my illness started to take over my mind as well. My mind and body became weak little by little and I thought, “it doesn’t matter even if I don’t wake up after this sleep, and I don’t mind if I die.”

And then, another tragic thing happened to me. When I was twenty, my healthy-looking father took a medical examination in a hospital and they discovered terminal liver cancer. After several months he just passed away without receiving any treatment. I just felt blankness at that time and a thought of emptiness overwhelmed my mind.

He lived his life by going out early in the morning and coming back late in the evening from labour work. When I thought of my father who died at age 47 after working hard for his family, I felt life seemed to be truly empty.

I had a strange dream after the funeral service. I fell asleep after returning home from the funeral and my father, in my dream, burst opened the door of the wardrobe and came out of it wearing a Hanbok-Korean traditional clothing. But at that time, I didn’t know what it signified.

After that, my mind was got darker little by little as time passed. I took a break from university and I lived like a failure spending most of time playing internet games or reading novels every day. I should have consoled my mother in her grief and provided her solace as an eldest son but I didn’t. There was no purpose or meaning in my everyday life. Although I knew that my life went wrong, I didn’t have any power or will to fix it by myself.

There was one fervent wish in mind. What I wished for was to find a teacher who could guide and lead me from this meaningless life. But it wasn’t easy to find such a teacher.

For 4 years, I lived such a hopeless life until I was 23. Then, I encountered an article written by a Jeungsando practitioner from the internet and I sent an email to the writer out of my curiosity. We exchanged emails and finally I came to learn that he is a practitioner from Wando county, Jeollanam-do Province in South Korea, which is my father’s hometown.

Later, I was introduced to several books through e-mails and I came across a title of a book which sounded familiar to me. And a memory flashed through my mind so I opened the wardrobe in my room then found the book ‘This is Gaebyeok’. And I also saw the other books, [The Real Events of Gaebyeok] and [Prepare for Gaebyeok] on the top of my shoe shelf. This was the reason why I read the books seriously and visited a Dojang.

During the period before and after Jeungsando initiation, I had many special experiences. I cannot tell all the stories, though I want to share some. Fortunately, Sabunim visited Incheon after I first visited the Dojang. So, I met Sabunim for the first time a couple of days later. While listening to his Dao speech, I felt that his words touched my heart and cleared away the darkness in my mind, and I also felt an electric shock run from spine to the rest of my body. Then my inner voice whispered, “It’s him! He is the man. (He is the teacher whom I was looking for)”. I became a member of Jeungsando after this experience.

At that time, I was so happy. And I realized that the joy bubbling up in each cell of our body is the most effective medicine in this world. I thought half of the disease was already cured by the joy of meeting genuine truth and the true master.

While undergoing the initiation process, I strongly felt my father’s helping hands. So, I wanted to offer a Chiseong for guiding my ancestors and father to the Dao, but my condition couldn’t allow me to earn money at the time. The only thing I could do was offer prayers. Then a mysterious thing happened after praying for several months.

My mother said she suddenly received money from a loan and gave me a large sum saying that’s for you. I thought what a welcome windfall; it must be a gift from the gods! And I used the money for a Chiseong for guiding my direct ancestors to Dao.

Then during the devoted meditation for the Cheondosik, my father appeared in my mother’s dream. He appeared wearing a yellow Hanbok. If I use my mother’s direct expression, she said “the yellow aura was shining brightly from your father’s body.” And she mentioned that he appeared in her dream with such a bright and joyful smile on his face, which she never saw even in his life time. She said that she shed tears in her dream while looking at his happy face and thought “it’s because my son offered a Chiseong for guiding him to Dao.”

And another experience is about the spirit tablets (the memorial tablets for ancestors) which we generally keep in a shrine after the Cheondosik ceremony. And this experience made me realize the importance of keeping the spirit tablets in a shrine.

The story started from my grandmother’s house in my dream. In the house there was a spacious room in the center and other small rooms along both sides. When I entered the room on the right side, I saw a life-sized wooden statue standing in the middle of the room. So, I thought, ‘Oh, this is not ours, why is this standing here?’ then, my father suddenly came into the room. Then I told him ‘Father, this isn’t ours, we should put this outside in the yard’, and my father nodded. My father picked it up and put it outside. I followed him in the yard and saw it, but I still wanted it completely out of our house. Again, I told him ‘Father, we should put this out of the house’, and my father again nodded and picked it up and put it outside of the house and my dream ended.

Generally when we have a dream for our spiritual guidance, we get a hint for the meaning. But I had no idea about this dream by that time. When I offered bowls of pure water in Dojang Shindan two to three days later, I saw a spirit tablet which was never seen before hanging on the place for my ancestors. One of the other practitioner’s spirit tablets was hanging upon my ancestors’ spirit tablets. Then, I noticed that it accidentally misplaced when we arranged the spirit tablets in the Dojang, which we usually do once in a while. I was quite surprised by that time.

After the Cheondosik (the Chiseong for guiding my ancestors to Dao), I completely stopped taking the medicine.

As I learned one by one in such way, I made progress in ‘my study of saving life’ which is the real purpose of practicing Sangjenim’s dao. But that was not easy at all.

Somehow, I planted a lot seeds in the university for five years following Pogamnim (a cell group leader) but I couldn’t make any result from them. When I tried a little bit harder, my illness gave me problems. So, I kept failing and becoming frustrated and because my mind could not overcome the sickness, I repeated this vicious circle of failure and frustration for 5 years. Since I could not continue my activities, the flow of my activities kept disconnecting. Whenever that happened, the senior practitioners advised me that you must exceed the limit, but I could not clearly understand the meaning, nor exceed my limit.

While conveying Sangjenim’s dao, I always had this lingering thought in the back of my mind. “I should convey the truth and finally the Taeeulju Mantra, but how can I convey the Taeeulju Mantra with my incurable disease?“

I passed the year without any results and I greeted the New Year 2014 last year and Sabunim visited Incheon for the Gunryung tour in July. At that time, a great change happened in my life. This experience still remains until now.

We had time for a Dao governance report before the main Gunlyeong in Incheon Juan Dojang. In my turn, I reported my personal details with my disease, and the His Holiness the Jongdosanim asked about the disease in detail and he told me. “That disease is nothing. It is a curable disease that can be healed when you do 21 days of devoted meditation with 3 sets of 7-day dosu, several times.” He told me the disease is nothing. When I heard his words, I felt delighted.

While moving to Incheon Guwol Dojang after the Dao governance report, I felt that something heavy and pumpkin-sized quickly slipped out of my chest. At that moment, I felt so easy, light and refreshed, as if a rock stuck inside my chest moved out. Pondering over this experience while moving, I had a memory that flashed through my mind.

When I first received the medical diagnosis for my Crohn’s disease, this was the advice that the doctor told me. “Your disease is incurable by modern medical science and you should take the medicines for your entire life and the best way for managing this disease is that you should maintain the best condition continuously when it improves. That is the only way.” When I got such advice from the doctor along with the medical diagnosis, it was extremely shocking to me.

The words from the doctor seemed to stick in my mind for 12 years, just like a rock. And as you know, when a person gets a sick, people around you usually ask about it. Then, as a follower of the doctor, I repeated the same words like a parrot to the tens, hundreds of people around me. The more I talked, the more the negative message stuck in my mind, accepting ‘this is really incurable disease’. What I realized from this was “Oh, this is the way that I set my boundary by myself.” And it happened to me and it could happen to other people as well.

I felt that all the things that we have seen, heard, felt, tasted and experienced throughout our whole life sticks in our mind just like rocks and those things obstruct our ability to cultivate our mind and carry out our mission. Regarding the meditation, there were moments that I could not cross the limit and suddenly felt tired without any reason. Behind such a mentality, the negative pebbles in my mind unconsciously operated as if making me accept that even if I try, it won’t work.

However, through the great experience of the sacred words of His Holiness the Jongdosanim, I started to see the core of the problem properly. After that, I was strongly encouraged to follow Sabunim’s instruction for the meditation. So, I started to chant Unjangju mantra intensively all day in order to expel the ‘old and stagnant qi and negative mindset’. And while answering my own questions, I started to correct the things that should be corrected one by one.

The first thing was offering pure water in the morning and evening. I used to offer pure water neglectfully. When my body felt sick, I frequently skipped the offering of pure water under the cover of the sickness. Sabunim often mentioned in his dao speech “Frankly speaking, anyone who does not offer pure water is not a Jeungsando practitioner” and that made me reflect on my indolent practice deeply. After that, regardless of whatever excuses, I keep doing meditation with prayer after offering pure water with my utmost sincerity using all available methods.

Then, it happened on the Wednesday Chiseong after correcting my wrong manners one by one for a week. While listening to the Sabunim’s dao speech, I felt that the words penetrated my mind and made me hot. And some words kept repeating inside my head. I wondered what it was at first, but the words more and more strongly came into my mind, so I wrote them down.

Demon of illness! You can disturb me and distress my body but you will never be able to invade my mind, which is always with Heaven, Earth, the Sun and the Moon, and you never be able to break down my will. Through you my mind will be stronger, and because of you I will always guard against my laziness. You are just one of the many tools for cultivating my mind, and I will utilize you as a steppingstone toward a higher level of my maturity, and I will keep moving forward.

After receiving these words, my attitude for coping against the disease completely changed. Because of this, I was encouraged to keep offering pure water, praying and meditating in a sincere manner. Then the time of winter solstice Chiseong approached, so we prepared 21 days early morning devoted meditation in the Dojang for welcoming the winter solstice.

I thought, “This is a good chance,” and I decided to participate in the devoted meditation. I usually woke up at 4:30 AM and took a shower then did the meditation at 6 AM in the Dojang with other practitioners. We did silent meditation, then dynamic meditation, and my dynamic meditation was passionately exercised on the second day. I practiced the dynamic meditation while kneeling down, but my legs and hips lifted up very lightly and the qi of dynamic meditation descended powerfully.

When reaching the highest point, my mind and body all of a sudden sank down silently. While rubbing down my chest with my hand, I heard a voice inside saying “You had a hard time for a while. You made a great effort. Was that too difficult to you? I know, now, let’s save many people.” At that moment, the grief and sorrowful feelings that had accumulated last 12 years while suffering from the disease, rushed into my mind and I cried loudly with a full flow of tears. Because of the distress I gave to my parents, the things I was chained to, the works I never tried and the chances I gave up due to the disease, a lot of emotional feelings rushed to my mind and my tears poured down until the end of dynamic meditation.

After the dynamic meditation, the bitterness and grief were washed away, and I was sure that if I completed this 21 days of devoted meditation, my disease would certainly be cured. After that, I did the devoted meditation every single day for 21days. On the last and 21st day, I started the dynamic meditation with a short prayer mantra, Jigigeumji. I suddenly shed tears and the sincere words from my heart spoken out of my mouth. “Thank you.” Until the end of the dynamic meditation, the words ‘thank you’ repeated continuously and tears poured down. After the meditation, I just realized that this disease was healed. After this, the thought of disease itself completely disappeared in my consciousness. Previously, this idea that “I am a sick person or a patient of Crohn’s disease” always remained in my consciousness and I limited myself saying “I cannot do this; I might not do that because of this disease.” But now such negative thoughts completely disappeared in my mind.

Before, my body felt heavy as if someone was pulling me down from the bottom, but now I feel rather light and confident, as if someone is pushing me up. And my body actually started to change a week after the Winter Solstice Chiseong. The dark blood has been released from my back passage for 3 days. After this, the complication in my anal area also completely disappeared, including the abdominal pain, diarrhea and other sicknesses that kept bothering me before.

Previously when I went out, I felt psychologically insecure and intimidated and my confidence became lower because of the pains. Now, as I was relieved from the shackles of all those pains, my body almost felt like it was flying. So I feel only immeasurable gratitude toward the parents of Heaven, Earth, the Sun and the Moon in the requital of their benevolence. Thereby, I made a great vow.

Let me do the work of saving people most intensively in my history of Jeungsando practice in this year 2014! I started the devoted meditation with such a great vow. From that time, the power of Creation-Transformation started to be actualized. Although I have conveyed the teachings of Jeungsando to many people for 5 years, I never gained any results. I even could not produce a single member of Jeungsando club in university before, but from that time, people began to show their interest. When I do the pogyo activities with questionnaires or posting Jeungsando promotional materials, I get phone calls and people were easily invited to the club room. So, I have been extremely busy with contacting people for the first time until last June in my history of Jeungsando practice. And Namkya, a 19 years old female student studying abroad from Mongolia, was invited to the Dojang among the people whom I met.

And I am expecting another overly pleasant event, my mother’s Jeungsando initiation. My mother’s mind was widely opened after seeing all my miraculous healing directly with her own eyes. When I talked about the Taeeulju Mantra or Jeungsando truth before, she used to say that it is just a faith (only your faith). However after seeing my actual healing process, she had no more excuses for not practicing together. While I was doing the devoted meditation for preparing the great ritual to Heaven and Earth on June 21, my mother was invited to the Dojang and attended the educational program for 8 views of Jeungsando teachings. Then my father again appeared in my mother’s dream in support. So she is now preparing her Jeungsando initiation after the educational program.

I always felt sorry to my mother up to now. But these days, I often smile to my mom after healing my disease and she likes my laughter, and my mother also shows her blissful smile after studying Jeungsando truth. So my happiness now is really tremendous. Recently I realized that it is truly the ultimate blessing for us to live our daily life sharing dao talks with our family members.

Those are my stories, and they continue even now. My story is still ongoing, it has not ended yet. Because I still have lots of things to do. Maybe my story will appear again with the second season.

If there is a wall that blocks your way, I hope you can gain all the power to overcome that obstacle through my story today. With this, I will end my story for now. Requital of benevolence!